I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
