i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she peed on how many people?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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