so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
