i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
