There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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