How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
