i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
