I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
