I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
