You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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