But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
