we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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