Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
