TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize