I hate your face
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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