Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize