I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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