And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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