I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
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