you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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