is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
