pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She even gives head with a lisp.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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