I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Randomize
