I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
