You really coming over, don't trick.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
