man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize