i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize