U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
you made out with another girl for some wings
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
