i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
