Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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