I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
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Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
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In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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