morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
A bitchslap is in order.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
