I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
