Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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