Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
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I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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