we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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