I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize