i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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