I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
