She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
