even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize