i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
