drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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