Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
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So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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