You're my little dorito
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
pray to the hookup gods
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
