Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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