i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
