my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
