did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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