my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
ugly people sure do ruin things
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
