You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
