If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
