I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
