I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
he's gonorrhea incarnate
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
