and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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