I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
