2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
