After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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