You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
