we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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