Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
