I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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