nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize